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the {beautiful evidence} e.p. searching for a better way... boredom in detail synthesized to enhance your public image
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. . . . . . . . . . . seven ways seven ways to sunday i wanted to be all you wanted inside but i want to be the hunted, the one inbetween and not be defined it's so complicated i choke & i breed, a prisioner of design but it's all seven ways to break me i just can't escape the seven ways that we hide seven ways surrounding i shake and i need these games of desire to believe but i keep mistaking the ways that we feed for the sins of pride it's so complicated i choke & i breed, a prisioner of design but it's all seven ways to save me i just want to be and not be defined but i'm emprisioned trapped in my seven minds, by indecision so is it all my fault if i refuse to believe that this is enough? and so seven way to believe, to deny this indecision is my chain by design i'll never be the one to know the strength to give this up with so muc uncertain, all we are... can it ever be enough? . . . . . . . . . . . a witness all this and no witness to break it my fevered desire to escape from your judgement divided & distant, confined by a language that's spoken in motions too slow to define a kiss, once, i remembered electric is offered now in the weight of confusion devoured by distance, the hope of forgiveness a freedom from memory to drown us in sound i braved the silence angered & broken my mind a wasteland numbed by the senses/numbing and senseless i shake with frustration keeping my distance with the weight of desire breaking my reason i wait, a patient patient to break a history repeating . . . . . . . . . . . beautiful evidence i would wait for nothing i did not want to waste the time it takes believing so young & fast & fading now it's one for the taking and it's two to the floor where secrets, shaken and twisted are slipping on the sins of reason below the righteous stand to suffer the bleeding of the past with the memory deceiving, confusing all we want with what we have so i dreamt of you moving your skin shook under my breath your lips stained by the slience . . . . . . . . . . . feed i'm waiting on the words to escape you i'm trying hard to breathe while you're shaking you're running from the ones who define you defeated by the ones who won't take it and you feed off the lie you've created to believe that you're something worth saving i won't be one of those that you're breaking just pretend to believe what you're faking i'm choking on the force of your distance the violence that you breed in resisting the fear that keeps you hungry and hopeless the fear that there'll be someone to notice how you need so much time and attention to believe that you're something worth saving just pretend to believe what you're faking and they'll feed off the lies you've created . . . . . . . . . . . how can you have a beautiful ending without making beautiful mistakes? i will sing away this sickness . . . . . . . . . . . sulu so much to feel, to be invisible you wait, i've changed, invinceable it's not my fault i'm walking dead but it's all i have to keep from saving you instead i'll take you any way i'll make you give it up in pieces in my hand, in pieces on the floor it's all i want, to be visible to make you crawl to make you give in, give up, save me from myself . . . . . . . . . . . memento i don't know why i can't remember to forget you somehow i couldn't take it somehow i couldn't shake it all a thousand hours wasted in anticipation it all comes down to nothing, i've turned you into something more i'm breaking down to pick you out of all the numbers and the faces collecting all the pieces a picture to remind me of who to trust, to please, to be it seems i forget to remember how quick a memory fades how i'm running out of space to write the message down but can you run as fast as i'll be running? can you run as fast as i will run you down? . . . . . . . . . . . sci-fi #2 sister went out without a sound never woke up in the back seat sister went out all alone . . . . . . . . . . . eviscerate everyone is anyone, no time to take it for myself they stand in line to change your mind, to change you into someone else i should've walked away it's so much to save you i'm just a simple girl searching for a better way and when you come, it's like a gun straight up against the back of my head i'm trying to keep the line between the things you did and what you said i'm wasting energy, drowning you in my doubt there's nothing else to do when you cacn't wish it away and you can't wish this away i'm trying not to repeat myself eviscerate all i have known there's some things i just can't save so what else can you do when you can't wish it away? . . . . . . . . . . . sticky fingers once was standing between, hearing music surrounding leaving a memory of time less confusing, less distant if only a memory had meaning instead of no purpose at all once was sleeping between, seeing pictures, a new day fading the memory of time less confusing, less distant if only an image had meaning instead of no purpose at all . . . . . . . . . . . preface i won't waste your time for too much longer and i won't be your burden anymore and i can't say i'm glad to see this over, the way it was before and i won't resurrect the acusations and i won't reconstruct the distant past and i can't share your feelings of confusion i've given all i have and i won't wait in silence for an answer and i won't bear the weight of all your hope and i can't make this happen any faster this waiting has been long and i won't stay around here to appease them and i won't care to leave it all behind but i can't make you say that you'll remember this memory is mine . . . . . . . . . . . home there's so much space that these winds can't fill and the ghosts of your memory won't die when there's nothing new to take their place but you go on we move in motions too slow to define the shadows & the pieces in the distance it's a wasteland beyond the words to explain what we know and we pretend so well not to mind the places we knew seem harder to find when we were safe in time, when we were home . . . . . . . . . . . the high roads of the future will be clear so tired that i can't see the day and sleeping i make better memories i'm wishing this time would go away cause there's nothing that can wake me up but i could give in to save r i could be the time you waste and wish away it's a long way till the winter's end and i don't think that i can stay but i could be there too . . . . . . . . . . . soft portrait what i know, i'll never tell you'll have me back but i won't speak for silence ends and everything turns back on me now in this dance, forgetting steps and losing time inside the past but here the chance can't ever hide, only change sides it's the hope that's coming back to never question circumstance cause forgiving never begins when someone has to win and i can't ever win i guess i'll never win and i can't be your memory and i can't be your time in the repetition and exchange of days i can't define . . . . . . . . . . . traces of these days if you can't leave this place without a new arrangement then i won't open doors while you're still sleeping there a promise i have kept, within a lapse of reason and change is hard to take it all seems too familiar searching through the past but never finding answers and recollecting time cannot replace the boredom for certainty cannot ever offer me comfort with traces of these days defining who we are and if you dare to ask me i might be forced to answer cause i feel that this time i won't be here for long . . . . . . . . . . . boredom in detail i can't be your memoryand i can't be your time in the repetition and exchange of days i can't define but waiting, i can wait through boredom's tedious detail and i can't live on in make-believe it seems we'll never get this right to replay each and every scene of the past, in perfect time but waiting, i can wait through boredom's tedious detail unconscious in the waste perfecting the details of a memory to forget you're a memory i'll forget . . . . . . . . . . . lifesupportsystem you don't have to say anything, i don't want you here and you don't have to do anything it's not you i fear tide's moving closer, underneath me and near and the water crushes everything, i am clear you can take a step away, i don't want you here it's not you that i fear . . . . . . . . . . . swallowed up by the sea i never had forever but you act as if i did and i've been waiting defeaned by your childish noise your lazy, hopeless, mumbling voice but it can't drag me down cause it won't be long now i'm been here far too long and you've smothered me with words but i'm not drowning trust myself i shake this lie i'll these choked up words behind and they can't drag me down cause it won't be long now guess the tide's changing cause my mind's saying, "girl, you take something if you want to believe that time will wait somehow cause she'll drag you down won't be long now before you'll be swallowed up by the sea" she said, "how long will you be?" and i said, "well, how long can you wait? you see i never did have much time to give still, i gave it all away" . . . . . . . . . . . only fighting time it's getting harder to breathe and i listen to you move across the water as i lay down again there's just some things i can't be and i might never have the chance to feel the light that's cast its shadows on my skin and don't you know what i've given up you take what you can but it's never enough thought i'd do anything to be where you are but sometimes i guess it's hard to see when you've gone too far and so much forgiving but you still have no reasons and i can't take this anymore i'm running out of ways to let you win ways to keep myself believing in these words i wish i was only fighting time but i guess i never tried to begin to give in to understand this and i can't believe it's so hard for me to see that you never meant anything it's strange how you seem to slip through me you make your way across so easily and i never meant for this to end as if it'd only been a dream . . . . . . . . . . . polaroid (the pop song) searching for a solution we tried forever to break through the walls of inconsistency, the progress of our disease believing the lies sustaining our lives change is only temporary stays till we ready ourselves, ours minds to be rearranged again history will be our witness in reaching the impossible destination . . . . . . . . . . . spy once i was a spy i knew your lies better than you do and better than mine but you're not responsible for what i do with truth and you don't know what i'll do to you safe, out of my hands looking, you dare to call out my name like i wasn't even there but i'm not responsible for what you do with truth for what i mean to you i will be the death of your lies cause you can never stop and hide from these eyes no you can never stop and hide from these eyes . . . . . . . . . . . retrograde motion it's time that we start accepting things are out of control |
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